Is nothing sacred anymore?

Those nice lads over at Best Buy (aka the Geek Squad), were busted stealing porn from home computers. Crap, now who will we call the next time the Blaster worm crashes our laptop?

If you’re like me (and you know you are), you’ve spent a lifetime amassing Filipino lady-boy Jpegs. It kills to think that just because Microsoft can’t make a secure operating system, your treasured collection might end up with a pack of black-tie-wearing jack-off artists.

When not even our porn is safe, then the terrorists really have won the day. This kind of thing is far worse than random car bombings. Like rape, this is a painful violation. It tears at the fabric of all we hold dear: Monday night football, cold beer, cheap weed, and high quality porn.

It’s one thing for politicians to lie, or for Catholic priests to molest kids. We expect that. If you’re still peddling religion in 2007 then you’ve shown yourself to be an evildoer without shame. But if you can’t trust a geek then the world has surely gone mad.

Rumor has it these geeks never leave a trace of their exploits, and that it took a sapo to expose their nefarious activities. No trace? Did no one wonder what’s up with the sticky keyboard?

“I have confirmation that the direct Supervisor of the Geek Squad in the Santa Clarita store was asked to step down, but I do not have exact numbers right now as to how many employees have been terminated,” said former Geek Squad agent Brett Haddock.

Ah, stepped down has he Agent Brett? Well, that’s not nearly enough. I say hang him by the balls, hang him from the highest tree with all his co-conspirators. Only then can we begin the healing process.

On the

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