Me so horny.

“I was about to vomit. It was the same animal that had been squealing just moments before. Now, it had been roasted whole. I managed to avoid eating it by only having salad.”

run fido run

According to reports in the independent press, there’s a Tokyo eatery where you get to sex-up the meat before you eat it. Lends a whole new meaning to the word tenderizer doesn’t it?

That’s right kids, chickens start at 200,000 to 500,000 yen, dogs, like the one pictured above, are pricier, about 300,000 and 800,000 yen, while pigs and goats go for over 800,000 yen (I think that’s about $2-$8.). For that you get to go out back, and give your favorite animal a good rogering.

The cool thing is you save money by not having to bring a date! No worrying if you’re going to score, or whether you need to split the check. Just bring a healthy appetite, credit card, and plenty of lube. That’s Asian efficiency for you.

Until this moment, I would have sworn the drive thru was mankind’s greatest achievement. But now, I’m not so sure. Something like this could revolutionize the fast food industry. I’d even give up french fries, and the frosty, for a chance to make my future bacon cheeseburger moan.

me so hungry

Reports about the existence of this underground restaurant spring from the testimony of a sketchy S+M worker identified only as “M.” M claims she only popped into the restaurant after being invited by one of her clients. Uh huh. that’s what I told my ex about my time in a local whorehouse, but do you think she believed me?

“I’d been told what to expect,” M told Jitsuwa Knuckles, “but when I actually saw what was happening, it was as shocking as you’d imagine it to be.”

Shocking madam? What could be possibly be shocking to a lady who spends the day with her fist up some dude’s ass? M doth protest too much methinks. I would not be surprised if she gave that poor dog a quick reach-around just before she ate him. After all, it would have been the humane thing to do.

“Later, the lawyer told me the appeal of the place just came about because when people have got money and done everything else, they turn toward bestiality.”

I don’t know if I buy that M. Bestiality for the jaded rich? I always figured bestiality was the one pleasure reserved for the poor. Ask any goat herder and you’ll know what I’m on about.

If you go: Daily Distractions recommends you stay away from the “special sauce.”

On the net - Mainichi Daily News

Photo by - degreezero2000

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4 Responses to “You can run fido, but you can’t hide.”

  1. 1 tropiking Says:

    i doubt this disgusting tasteless article could be written by cojito. further,200,000 yens=2 603.4 U.S. dollars iaw google search

  2. 2 Staff Says:

    By Cojito? Probably not. As you well know, Cojito adores animals. Especially the one’s that taste like chicken. It’s said the only time he mixes sex with food is when he’s got his girlfriend bent over the dinner table. I suspect this loathsome posting can be laid at the dirty feet of one of our many interns.

    Well done with the Google search by the way. The dollar just isn’t worth what it once was. Gone are the days when a writer could quip about the yen being almost worthless.

  3. 3 WosteJewwosse Says:

    Hi! Are you interested in my juicy petition Oh, good joke) If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.

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