According to a group calling themselves “The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics”

“… lipstick sold under brand names including L’OrĂ©al and Cover Girl contain potentially dangerous levels of lead. Twenty of 33 brand-name lipsticks have detectable levels of lead …”

Congratulations ladies, if these results are confirmed by the FDA, then there could be a valid medical reason why your husband, boyfriend, or boss, thinks you could be an idiot have reduced cognitive abilities.

For women this bit of news is almost as good as suffrage, or the time Rosie got bounced off “The View.” Think of it, no more dumb blond jokes, no more complaints about all the headaches you get when your man wants to have sex.

poison lipstick

It turns out lead has been used in makeup as far back as 250 BC. So its quite possible generations of women have been poisoned by the manufacturers of cosmetics.

Men, you need to back up off the girl. A real man doesn’t tease, coerce, or deride the brain damaged. No matter how long its been since he’s had any, or eaten a decent home cooked meal.

For years men have gotten away calling women stupid, weak, fat, lazy, and bitchy. Now at least a couple of those labels will have to be tossed out. It turns out women really have been getting all those headaches. You see lead poisoning, or saturnism, can cause irreversible neurological damage, rendering the little woman irritable, lethargic, slow-witted, unable to sleep.

Does any of that sound familiar men? Well, if you want your girl to be smarter, and get off her fat ass, then you’ll have to convince her to give up the lead-based lipstick. And if her symptoms persist, a chelating agent will need to be administered.

Doctors warn that it can take time for lead to be purged from the body. So don’t expect your woman to give you oral, or balance the checkbook overnight. In time your lady should regain most of her brain function. That means she’ll be able to cook, clean, work, beat the kids, and fake orgasms like a porn star.

Just don’t expect this to cure her fetish for shoes. Doctors are not miracle workers.

On the net – International Herald Tribune

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