i love you

Cojito, I’m moving to Costa Rica. I’m sick of American women and their attitudes. All the women here end up marrying jerks. I’m 55, nice guy, good job, new car, I treat women with RESPECT, and I can’t get a 2nd date. What do women want? What’s wrong with them? Bill W. Sun City, Az.

Bill, we have a saying in Panama: “los besos de un viejo, saben a huevos sin sal.” In other words, you’re a rather bland dish, and women are looking for someone with a little more tang.

Why do they find you so uninspiring? Oh Bill, isn’t it obvious? You’re a clueless geezer. You reek of whiny desperation, and the funk of your pathetic neediness is killing any chance you have to score. And let’s no forget you live in Sun City, Arizona, Dante’s fourth circle of hell.

Bill, you ever hear of a woman getting sticky for TV’s Mr Rogers? Of course not, no one respects a nice man in a sweater vest. Sure, you could take your pussy attitude and move to Costa Rica. But I’m not so sure that’s going to help.

Because I know what’s wrong with the American women you meet. Nothing. It’s all you baby. Rather than run, how ’bout you suck it up and act like a man. Women want what they want, and right now they don’t want you. Deal with it.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, what you should do is stop trying. That’s right give up. Sure, women love a guy with a good job, flash car, and nice look about him. But God forbid you actually hook up with a woman in your sniveling state. You’ll pay for that mistake the rest of your life.

Bill, ever notice how the guy that dotes on his princess gets dumped on? And the guy who does what he wants gets doted on? Human nature. We lose respect for servile behavior, and we’re turned on by strength.

panama dictator manual noriega

I live in Panama. And let me tell you, if he were free today, butt-ugly strongman Manual Noriega would still get mad pussy, (or he’d be hitting young boy ass, just depends on who you listen to). The point is, Manny was damn near irresistible in his time.

Look, ol’ pinapple face is gone. That leaves the field open for you. Don’t blow it. Remember, it’s much better to care less, do less, and get more. So stop trying to impress.

Next time a woman asks what kind of car you drive, tell her you take the bus ’cause you like to expose your penis to strangers.

Next time she asks what you kind of work you do, tell her you’re George Clooney’s cock double.

Next time she wants to meet your mother, tell her you just killed mom, then ask for help feeding the body into the wood chipper.

And Bill, if you do nothing else, next time you talk to a beautiful woman, pretend you have a pair.

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2 Responses to “What’s Wrong with American Women?”

  1. 1 tmc55 Says:

    I agree..It does not matter where you live, if you grow some balls and act like a man you will get pussy galore…be a player not a wuss. Step up your game work on it like a job if you have to.. but never…and i mean never let a women get any power over you or you will be finished for good. Buck up Bill, nice guys finish last….cojito you have a fixation on G. Cloony’s cock lol..shake yourself.

  2. 2 Cojito Says:

    haha i know man.

    you’d be surprised how many freaks surfed over to Daily Distractions (i assume, looking for dick pics) after i threw up that George banged a tranny article. i guess “George Clooney’s Penis” are very popular keywords.

    yes, i’m shameless. but i’m trying to build some serious traffic here.

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