puta muerte

Police say an area woman found a winning lottery ticket under the mutilated body of dead hooker today.

Carmen Herrera, a maid working out of Punta Patilla, said she was shocked to discover the ticket while walking her employer’s dog.

“Ay, dios mio – I no can believe. I was walking Rex, and he to crap there, on sidewalk. He sense something wrong, he be barking, very loud. And there it was, in bushes, under that dead puta. Gracias a Dios, I am so happy right now.”

Police remain puzzled how the ticket got there. “We’re looking into it you can be sure of that,” said Sargent Diaz of the PTJ. “Its not everyday one of our citizens finds a valuable lottery ticket under a bloody prostitute.”

The body of the dead whore was covered in blood and semen, and had cocaine residue around her nose, but it did not appear the winning numbers were obscured in any way.

“No way, it was pristine. She’s one lucky girl.”

Earlier police taped off the area and began searching for more lottery tickets. The hooker could not be identified, but her hair was bleached blond, and she’d had recent breast enlargement, so it’s assumed she was a Colombian illegal.

“It would be hard to imagine anything more wretched,” said Sgt Diaz. “I have two daughters, and losing a winning lottery ticket would be crushing. We will be analyzing the numbers. They could be the key to this mystery.”

Cops continued to comb the area throughout the day, but did not find any more mangled prostitutes or tickets.

“It’s early in our investigation, but I’d say she was about 19. Forensics will need to take a look at it, but judging from the wear patterns the ticket was purchased earlier in the week.”

“It may have floated down when the whore was thrown off one of the upper balconies into the shrubbery below. It’s possible whoever lost the ticket may live in that high rise. If we find them we’ll want to get the ticket back to them as soon as possible.”

The police will be going door to door asking locals if they’ve seen any killers, or lottery winners about.

“Something like this should give everyone pause” said Father Sanchez, a local parish priest. “It’s natural to blame yourself. It’s easy to say, if only I was there a little sooner then I could have picked up the winning ticket. But you can’t fault yourself.”

The church has opened its doors, and area psychologists are standing by to counsel anyone traumatized by not finding the wayward ticket. If the rightful owner is not found Carmen plans to take the ticket down to the Loteria National to claim her $80 winnings early next week.

“It’s like an early Christmas present,” she said.

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