amy winehouse
Those malicious lads over at “When Will Amy Winehouse Die,” are offering an Ipod Touch if you can divine the day of Amy’s fatal overdose. Naturally the site’s pulling in mad traffic, and has generated thousands of pre-condolences.

In offering his heartfelt lamentation Benno wrote: “Amy, you will cry in hell because there’s no crack there.”

Now I’m no Christian, I’ve never studied the Bible, and it’s been a long time since I read Dante’s Inferno, but is Benno implying there is crack in heaven? I sure hope so, ’cause I’m going to need a little something to keep up with all the virgins.

If only Amy had waited. Crack has really warped the poor girl. Back in the day Amy Winehouse was kinda hot in a junkie chic kind of way. Now look at her. Nasty.

dandy in the underworld
When we last heard from freaky Brit Sebastian Horsley, he was getting crucified somewhere in the Philippines. But last week the junky artist turned tell-all writer rose from the dead, then tried to slip past U.S. border patrol agents on his way into New Jersey.

Big mistake. We have very high standards in the U.S., particularly in the Garden State. And unless you’re here to pick fruit, work at Home Depot, or act in Border Bangers porn flicks we don’t want you here.

Border Bangers

At an 8 hour hearing with heroic customs officials, Horsely claimed it was all an innocent mistake, that he’s clean and sober, and only in town to promote his book “Dandy in the Underworld.”

“We know you’re a heroin addict, we know you’re a crack addict, we know you’re involved in prostitution,” an official said before rejecting his entry into the U.S. on the grounds of “moral turpitude.”

On the net – CNN