world's oldest condomIf you understand how filthy and grasping cunts can be, then you know the value of a good condom. The condom’s a simple device that’s been protecting the penis since the time of the Egyptians. Some believe even pharaohs used a linen sheath.

Times change. And in the middle ages a pesky syphilis epidemic swept across Europe. History doesn’t credit the clever pig fucker man who discovered that pig innards are better for a penis than cloth. Probably because he died shortly thereafter from the plague.

But there may still be time to see an example of this great leap forward. A well-worn condom is on display at a local museum in Austria. It dates back to the 1640’s, and is made of super sexy pigs intestine. It also features an owners manual written in Latin. So it was probably used by one of those celibate priests to sodomize young boys.

On the net – World’s Oldest Condom

horse sex

… but I was not into horse cock so I did nothing.

It took 2 years of bitter political wrangling for the benighted Dutch parliament to finally make sex with animals a crime. Humping your favorite beast will now get you up to 6 months in jail. Even if you give him a friendly reach around.

Before, it was only illegal to “mistreat” the animals you had sex with. Angry, selfish sex was off limits, but bestial love was quite legal. You just needed to take your favorite creature out to dinner, give it roses, lots of soulful tongue kissing, remember to call the next day, and you were good to go.

On the net – Spiegel

CLICK HERE to find love with a sexy beast.

uncle dirty

When I grow up I want to be just like Uncle Dirty. Sure, I could do without the missing teeth, and his homo erotic fetish for gluing peni onto fitness magazines. And now that I think of it, I don’t really like oiling my body, or making my own super-sized thongs.

I’m a gentleman. I buy my super-sized thongs at the super-size thong store. I do enjoy a good porno though. So Dirty and I have that in common.

I think what I admire most about Uncle Dirty is the bravery, or madness, that allows him to live the way he does.

Uncle Dirty is “totally open about his lifestyle and has no shame about who he is,” writes Mike Belleme.

Ah, it’s always the family who must live with the shame. Ask my mother. Still, Belleme got over his embarrassment to hang with his great uncle for 3 entire days. Bravo. I could barely last 3 minutes on the site.

Just long enough to recommend Mike’s horrifying photo essay.

On the net – Uncle Dirty

Nobody likes a tourist. Particularly a sex tourist. So when traveling Central America we recommend you stay out of brothels and pushbuttons. Instead, blend in, and do like the natives.

In this next clip you’ll see what I’m on about. Watch closely. At first this local man will rebuff his lover’s advances. Ticos can be so shy when the camera’s rolling, and German tourists are providing humiliating commentary. But soon the man’s pants are at the knees, and he’s going to ground.

What are we to make of that?

I wish I could tell you this is an unusual scene in Costa Rica. But thanks to guaro it’s not. I know many of you seeing this for the first time will be shocked. Remember, this is another culture and a good traveler always respects the local customs and traditions.

It’s interesting that the Royal Navy has chosen to advertise on this video. Back in the day rum was the lure. Now it’s porn. Remarkable how the military has evolved.

Not Vicky. She could have a PHD and work with lepers in Calcuta, but anyone who watches this video will only remember her as thin, sexy, tattooed, and British. Even better, with those skull and cross bones on her teats, FHM’s Calender Girl Vicky Blows may be the world’s hottest pirate.

Arrrgh!