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Van Gogh paintings, concentric canals, and the house of some ol’ blind woman are nice and all, but there’s really only one reason tourists with healthy libidos and substance abuse problems go to Amsterdam; killer bud, and nasty whores.

At Daily Distractions, we think if you can’t return home to your unsuspecting families missing a few thousand brain cells, and covered with runny sores, then you should damn well schlep your tourist dollars elsewhere.

Critics argue Amsterdam’s gone too far. They claim all the coffee shops, strip clubs, and freaky hookers who populate Amsterdam’s red light district attract the criminal element. Our theory: these criminals are after one thing: wooden shoes. I mean have you seen those suckers? I’d kill for a pair.

So, along comes Mayor Job Cohen, like the worst kind of Huguenot. He brokers a deal with real estate tycoon “Fat” Charlie Geerts to begin phasing out Amsterdam’s beloved red light district.

Oh sure, these reformers claim the red light district will remain, and that prostitution, and marijuana will still be legal in Amsterdam. But it’s a slippery slope my friends, a slippery slope. At best, the price of grass and ass will soar. At worst, we’ll need to find a new home for all our Viagra and rolling papers.

Video Clip - Amsterdam’s Red Light District

On the net - Spiegel Online International

“I am here for a reason, these moments run into pages, the seamy side of life.” Arturo Bandini

San Jose Costa Rica - I was alone then. What the hell I said. I was turning 50. And I was running out of days.

Tonight my little friend has locked herself in the hotel bathroom. Sweet Alex, out of service, guts churning, making the horrible rumble of a diseased organ about to shut down. Serves you right girl. You’re a native. You should know better than to buy food from a Tico in the street. Read the rest of this entry »